The Greatest Love

Happy Valentines weekend everyone!

As we celebrate and share with our loved ones how much we care about them and appreciate them, how many of you showed yourself that same love and appreciation?

Last year, if I was asked that same question I would have looked quite puzzled. However, through my learnings, I am discovering that in order to find true happiness, you have to start from the inside, and love yourself first.

This was certainly not an easy task for me. I grew up believing that loving yourself is conceited and arrogant, and was told time and time again that these were not good qualities to have. This was a bit of a deep rooted belief that I needed to change before I could start to consider to love myself.

I also grew up trying to please everyone. For different situations and events, I focused on how I thought everyone else expected me to act, and had no consideration into how I wanted to be. Unconsciously, I put the pressure on myself to try to figure out how to be ‘perfect’ for everyone. Trying to please everyone led to much failure and disappointment. But not only that, more and more, I was hiding who I was. I was doing this so often, it came to be that I didn’t know who that was.

So, being confused and stressed out, I decided to go on my journey of self-discovery. With lots of help from my class mates, and other life coaches and guides, I am working on these limiting beliefs and am starting to really get to know the true me. It certainly has not been easy, and has been time consuming, but the effort and setbacks thus far has been very worthwhile.

I have come to believe more and more that as physical beings, we are extensions of the non-physical. I have been told that for every physical birth, there are 1000 or more souls competing to become that physical being, with the intention to learn their own life lessons and purpose.

Consider as you watch any of the Olympic coverage, that at birth, YOU won the Gold medal to be YOU! Your life is your journey to live your life as the best YOU that YOU can be. No one else can even compete with you in that race – only you. We are all different, and that is what makes each and every one of us special in our own right. We all come here to offer our unique gifts to humanity. By being someone you are not-whether due to peer pressure, or habit- is depriving others from receiving the gift that is you.

So, what have you come here to do? For me, I am still not sure on that, but I am taking one day at a time. I have been meditating (well learning to), and working with my peers and colleagues on my path of self-discovery (THANK YOU!). I am trusting that my higher self – the one voice I had not been listening to my entire life (and to some degree did not believe existed) – does know what my life purpose is, and will help me along my journey through the lessons I came here to learn. If I choose to listen, I can be guided and inspired to take action and live my life purpose.

I am not under the illusion that this mindset will change my immediate environment, but it does change my perception. I have asked for these life lessons, so I might as well enjoy the process of learning them rather that choosing to stress about them. Who am I pleasing by getting stressed out? Certainly not me!

Whether your life purpose is to be a great athlete and win gold at the Olympics, or to be a face in the crowd and support those who do go for the gold, all you can do is be the best YOU that you can be. If that means a bit of struggle along the way, or lots of difficult training, it is up to you to choose how you perceive that struggle: as something you are to learn from and grow and enhance your life’s purpose; or as another stress to deal with. Ask yourself which one feels more empowering, then decide which path to take.

So on this valentines weekend (and everyday) allow yourself to take some time to show the most important person in your life how much you appreciate them being in your life, and that you do love them. If it hasn’t clicked in yet – that person is you.

To quote the great and late Whitney H.– ‘Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.’ I am on that path of learning. Hopefully, this post inspires you to start or continue on that journey for you.

Big (virtual) hugs to you all! Happy Valentines!

Please feel free to leave your comments, and or reach out to be using the form below.

Careful what you ‘ask’ for

To say January came in ‘like a lion’ is an understatement – not only with respect to the weather, but for me-work and life too.

This time of year the IT consulting industry is typically beyond busy. Many clients have a fiscal year end of March 31, and the crunch is on to have projects completed by year end. This is not something new to me. I was expecting January/ February/ March to be busy, especially with trying to complete my schooling, on top of a busy work environment. But I did not expect to be this busy.

Being more in tune with my emotions and what they are telling me – I was hearing them loud and clear – I do not like this current situation, and was confused by it. Over the holidays I actually set the intention for this period to be quite manageable – to be fully billable for work, but to also have plenty of time outside of work to focus on school and coaching. So I thought that was what I was asking for, but it is certainly not what has manifested.

Being immersed in the Universal Laws as I have been over the past 9 or so months, I was looking to take responsibility for my current situation, and was asking “How did I create this?” Don’t I need to understand what my ‘ask’ was to understand how my current situation came to be? It seemed logical to me. But for the most part I was not hearing the answer.

After several days, somehow, I ‘heard’ “You are approaching this wrong! Focus on what it is you do want – not on what you do not want!” (Yes, exclamation points and all.) It is one thing to reflect, and learn from it, but when trying to ‘fix’ it, my dominant thoughts were on my current reality (which is what I don’t want) and how to change it. Not on what I do want.

When you focus on the current reality, and even trying to understand ‘how’ you came to be where you are, what is it that you are typically feeling? Lower emotions. But, these lower emotions are a sign of resistance. But wait now – how am I resisting what I do want?!? It is what I thought I was asking for. Not so, apparently. By choosing to focus on my current situation (or what I didn’t want), I was telling the Universe ‘I want more of this’, and was getting it, but really I didn’t want it and my emotions were giving me that very feedback.

So how do I change it? I am told ‘it is as simple as getting clear on what it is I do want and have that as my dominant focus point.’ But also to consider not the ‘how’ I created this, but the ‘why’ – what lesson did I have to learn before I could move toward my desires.

After some introspection, I realized that a belief I had was holding me back or limiting me from reaching my desired situation. A large part of me still believed that sometimes you need to just focus on the work/ task at hand, work hard and push through the busy times to get to the ‘down’ times. For most of my life I have done just that – pushed through the busy times to get things done – and in every area of my life, not just work. So much so, that I did not take the time to enjoy the journey. And what I found was that I would be pushed to such a limit that when there was a ‘slow’ time I didn’t know how to enjoy it. I was either too exhausted to relax and enjoy, or I thought that something had to be wrong for there to be a down time. So I had to ‘fix’ it!

Wow – this belief has not been serving me too well. Now is the time for me to change that and replace it with new belief that serves me – the new me – better.

I have decided to allow myself the time to enjoy the moment, and not just push through. I am giving myself permission to spend a little time every day to dream (a very new concept for me), ask myself what do I want, as well as what new beliefs do I need to have to live the life I want. Although I certainly do not have all the answers, I am now hearing all sorts of ideas – ones that seem fun and enjoyable, and certainly not something to ‘push’ through. This is definitely a better place to mentally!

So what is my next step – taking inspired action! (After I share this insight with you, that is.)

To-Do Lists, with a twist!

First of all I would like to thank so many of you for the online, verbal and offline comments regarding my blog. One of my favorites was “during the NL Power Outage, your blog was a refreshing break from all the complaining on FB – Thank you for sharing some ‘light’.” Thank you for those comments! I truly appreciate them.

So this past week, I have been asking myself (and the ‘Universe’) for guidance on what to blog about next. As I have mentioned to many of you, I do not consider myself a writer, and I tend to keep most stuff very close to me, so sharing my personal experience, especially through writing is very new to me.

I certainly wanted something relevant- a scenario/ situation I could relate to, and would still provide some tips for you. As my mind was ‘racing’ with so many topics, as well as other priorities, I could not find the focus to write. Somehow, I received some clarity – write about having too many things on your plate, writing them down (which helps with focus!), and ask the Universe to help in getting them done. This is also known as ‘The Place Mat Process’ in Ask and it is Given by Jerry and Ester Hicks.

I have pretty much always been a ‘list’ person. My professional career is in project management, so not only do I make lists, I prioritize them, draw dependencies, look for logical sequences where I can ‘multi-task’ without actually multi-tasking (i.e. putting in a load of wash, before I vacuum, as I can vacuum, while the wash in in progress), so this was nothing too new for me. However, what was new was asking the Universe for help, or even ‘assigning’ some of those tasks over to the Universe! What a concept! But hey, why not give it a try? What do I have to lose?

Particularly, during this first week back to work, my mind was racing to recall: where things left off before my holidays; where things are now; what things need to happen next; etc. I was quickly feeling the downward spiral that could have easily become overwhelm. However, being aware of this, I stopped myself and started to write my list. I considered what items I could ‘assign’ the Universe to take care of, verses what I had to do.

Amazing enough, some of the tasks I did assign to the Universe did get completed! For instance – a follow up phone call with a client – well that client called me, rather than me calling them. Preparing a Letter of Engagement for a new piece of client work – another employee actually volunteered to complete it, without me asking them! And there were others! It was pretty cool to experience, and this certainly increased my vibration. When I realized some of these items were on my list for the Universe, I found myself giggling. Certainly better than being frustrated!

So what exactly did I do?

I took a piece of paper and divided it down the middle vertically. On the top of the left hand column I wrote ‘Things I must do’ and proceed to write my to-do list, in no particular order, as they came to mind. On the top of the right hand column, I wrote – ‘Tasks for the Universe’. I then scanned my to-do list and identified tasks/ items that I didn’t necessarily need to action, and was open for the Universe to offer alternative ways to complete these tasks. I then wrote these items in the right hand column, crossing them off of the list on the left hand side. When I was doing this, I was visualizing how I would feel having these tasks completed, and said ‘thank-you’ as if they were already done.

I then revisited my to-do list, and prioritized it. I also choose to look at these items as things I ‘get’ to do rather than ‘having’ to do them. I then asked the Universe for assistance in performing these tasks, so that I could complete them with ease and joy, rather than force and frustration.

After that, I got stared on my top priority item, and continued working away.

It truly is amazing how a little mind set change and asking the Universe for help really can ease the pressure and make the same task more enjoyable, if you choose to allow it.

Give this one a try, and let me know how it works out for you by commenting on this post.

‘Till next time, have fun playing with these tips, and keep choosing to reach for those better feeling thoughts. Life may just seem to be a little brighter.

The Emotional Scale

The next piece of information that I want to share with you is that we are all energy – our thoughts and feelings are emitting a certain frequency or vibration. With the Law of Attraction, what you put out you get back. So if you are sending out a vibration of sadness, you get more of it back. Same with anger, frustration, overwhelm, or love.

Consider what feelings you feel most of the time and that is your emotional set-point.

All emotions fall into a 22 point vibration range.

The emotional range (as per “Ask and it is Given” by Jerry and Ester Hicks) is:

  1. Joy/knowledge/ empowerment/ freedom/ love/ appreciation.
  2. Passion
  3. Enthusiasm/ eagerness/ happiness
  4. Positive expectation/ belief
  5. Optimism
  6. Hopefulness
  7. Contentment
  8. Boredom
  9. Pessimism
  10. Frustration/ irritation/ impatience.
  11. Overwhelm
  12. Disappointment
  13. Doubt
  14. Worry
  15. Blame
  16. Discouragement
  17. Anger
  18. Revenge
  19. Hatred/ rage
  20. Jealousy
  21. Insecurity/ guilt/ unworthiness
  22. Fear/ grief/ depression/ despair/ powerlessness

I know I was on a downward spiral. 8 months ago, my vibration set point was between frustration/ irritation/ impatience, and overwhelm. And more and more I could feel it dipping further. I really did not like this and at the time I had no idea what to do about it.

I had put out to the ‘Universe’ so many times I need help – and somehow this life coaching certification program came into my inbox. Now, at first I was very skeptical, but somehow I kept being pulled back. 8 months later, and am I ever glad I did decide to do this program.

The work I have been doing, I have raised my vibration set point, and I am continuing to work on raising it higher and higher. My current set point is one of hopefulness and optimism.

Do I still have feelings of frustration, anger, doubt, grief, insecurity – absolutely! I am human. But now I have awareness of what these lower emotions are telling me. I can choose to wallow in these emotions or deliberately change my thoughts, which change my feelings. By choosing better feeling thoughts I can change my emotional vibration a little bit at a time.

I chose to do that, and you can too.

So, where have you been vibrating?

I challenge you all to revisit the scale and identify your current emotional set-point. Take more notice of your feelings, and when you are aware of them, choose a better feeling thought, one thought at a time. 

As per my last post, I would love to hear from those who decide to take the challenge. Let me know how this activity may or may not have impacted your life; what your experiences were, and what you have learned from it.

Certainly, if you would like to explore this further, reach out to me. I would love to work with you to help you explore this further.

Love and peace to you all.

First Blog post: re-post from FaceBook

As promised, in 2014 I will blog about my experiences going through the QSCA Coaching program, and as I learn to apply the Universal Laws.

As this is my first blog posting, I decided to post my last post from my FaceBook site, but build upon it.

Below is the primary message of the FaceBook post:

The main thing I have learned is that we all have choices in our life:

It is our choice of what we focus on: we make that choice, whether deliberately or subconsciously, or even by default, to focus on the bad, or negative things, people, situations in our lives; or to focus on the good and positive in those same things, people or situations. Our emotions are our feedback mechanism as to what we have been focusing on, and how this focus has been impacting what is occurring around us.

I was provided the insight that our emotions are neither negative nor positive, but our emotions are just the feedback, and are trying to tell us something. The ‘negative’ emotions (or lower vibrational emotions) are telling us we are experiencing a resistance to what we desire. The ‘positive’ emotions (or higher vibrations) are telling us we are on the right track to our desire.

So before I go too deep and start going into the metaphysical, and quantum physics of it all, I will leave you with a starting point and little challenge for the new year.

Start by getting a journal and write about these 5 areas (below) of your life. Consider your current situation, and how you feel (yes feel) about them. Do not get bogged down in too much detail on your current reality, 3 or 4 comments each. But if you can, rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 low, 10 high):

A) your physical body: your health, your appearance, your clothes, your posture, how you present yourself in various situations.

B) your relationships: with your partner, your friends, your family, your co- workers, and yourself.

C) your career

D) your finances (separately from your career)

E) your spirituality – not necessarily religion, but your own spirituality. (For some of you this may be tough. I know for me when I started this I say I was a 1, and had no comments. I was not in touch with this side of me at all!)

Whatever your current reality is, that is okay. It is what it is. But don’t stop there. Now write what you desire these to be. Give yourself permission to dream, and dream big, and most importantly have fun with it.

Write:
– what you want
– why you want it
– how you want to feel when you have it. Really consider the emotion this will bring you. Add as much detail here as you wish.

My challenge to you is to revisit this at least weekly for one month. Refine/ add more detail to these desires, if you feel you wish to do so. But visualize having these things. Allow yourself to feel you already have them and enjoy those feelings, soak them up.

Journal as you obtain new insights.

I would love to hear from those who decide to take the challenge. Let me know how this activity may or may not have impacted your life; what your experiences were, and what you have learned from it.

This is the basics of life coaching. If you get something from this – great! If not, no harm done.

Certainly, if you would like to explore this further, reach out to me. I would love to work with you to help you explore your desires further.

Have a very merry Christmas, and may 2014 be your best year ever.

Love and peace to you all.