Today is the birthday of a friend of mine. It got me thinking and reflecting of how much we change, yet how much we remain the same.
From what I have been learning and applying to my life, I realized how much I have grown and changed for the better of the over the past few years. All of this is because of choices I made with the information I received.
Everything we do is based on a choice, usually with some desire for life to be better, feel happier. All too often though, we get stuck thinking we do not have a choice. I know I felt that way for a long time. But you do have a choice. No matter what your situation is right now, it is your choice to stay where you are or to do something about it.
As humans we naturally do not like change, but we all want something better, and hope that some how by doing the same things over and over things will get better. In order for things to get better, we have to shift the feeling within us. We have to do the internal work, stretch ourselves to take the inspired action to make those changes to better our lives.
However, no matter what we do, it will not change another person. The other person has to make the decision to change themselves. We can only change ourselves, no matter how hard we try. Our thoughts, our beliefs, our actions, are all our choice – whether consciously or not. Others thoughts and beliefs are not yours, but theirs. It is up to them to believe what they what, as it is up to you to choose what you believe for you.
The next time you find yourself doing something you do not want to do ask yourself why are you doing it – to make someone else ‘happy’, or to make yourself happy? It is not your job in life to make someone else happy – that is their job. Your job is to choose happiness in all that you choose to do, so that you are being happy now. Doing something that does make you happy and it happens to make someone else happy is a bonus.
I totally get that this is easier said than done, especially when life throws us some challenges. I never said that making these choices are easy. But it is your choice to stay stuck in the negativity and low feeling emotions, or to choose to change how you look at things, how you feel about things, and ultimately what you choose to do about it. You choose where you put your focus.
What is worse? Staying where you are, while others around you change, or stretching a little, taking back control of your life, taking back your power to believe what you want and do what you want, while taking ownership and responsibility for that? Maybe taking that action will not bring you exactly what you want, but did it bring you any closer to where you want to be? Will staying the same bring you any close to what you want? Usually not.
I have often heard the quote’ a leopard will never change its spots’ but I want to point out we are not leopards. We have a choice in everything we do, and once we take responsibility for the choices we make, and the actions we choose to do, we become empowered, and feeling that can be life changing. We can choose to stay the same, or to stretch and grow and create a better life for ourselves.
I know my stress levels have decreased quite a bit. I have chosen to stop (or stop myself when I do) comparing myself to others, and just allow others to be who they are. Who am I to judge them? I may not agree with them or their choices, but it is then my choice if I want to be apart of their life or have them a part of my life. This has taken a lot of internal work for me, and I continue to do so with the help of the coaches I consult with regularly. A lot of time, coaching others also brings me those ah-ha moments.
If you are feeling stuck or that you do not have a choice in an unpleasant circumstance, and do not see how you can make a change or a different choice, reach out to a coach. Most can help you see your circumstance in a non-judgmental different light to help you acknowledge what you want and help you to choose your next step.
The choice is yours.
To your health and happiness,
Susie
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