Judgement – who is it serving?

In the last couple of weeks I heard a lot from others saying “Oh, I wish <this person> would stop doing <this>’, or ‘would do <that>’, whether it be someone talking about their husband/ wife, friends, co-workers, boss or even their children. From what I have learned this is placing judgment, whether conscious or not, on others for what they may or may not have done.

In learning about the Universal Law – the Law of Allowing – there is a component of allowing others to be who they are. There are two ways to apply the Law of Allowing, which is: 1 – how you allow the Universe to deliver to you what you have been asking for; and 2 – allowing yourself and others to be who they are. Abraham-Hick’s sums up the second part of the Law of Allowing through the statement “I am that which I am, and while I am that which I am, I allow others to be that which they are.” In other words, accepting of yourself, as well as allowing others to be who they are.

However, allowing others to be who they are is not about tolerating them, or even accepting their behaviors. But it is about recognizing that they are in a place in their lives that they – deliberately or not – have chosen to be in, and accepting that of them. They are where they are right now, as you are where you are right now. No one truly knows what another person is actually going through in their lives. Consider that, while you are allowing others to be who they are, you still have the choice whether to be around them, or not, and that passing judgment impacts you more than it impacts them.

This can be prevalent in team environments: whether sports, work, or any other type of teams. The nature of the team is that we tend to rely on others to reach a particular goal. In doing so, you more than likely have set certain beliefs for yourself, as to how you and your teammates ‘should’ act. Holding these beliefs for others can certainly become frustrating when any of the others do not display the behaviors you think they ‘should’. While you may be okay with this belief for youself, consider that it may not be right for the others. I certainly have come to learn this!

Consider, that maybe, by expecting people to behave a certain way you are placing your joy and happiness into the hands of others. By doing this you may be giving up some of your own personal power of experiencing joy and in fact, strip you of your own freedom. Leaving your joy up to another person may or may not work out the way you hope. So take your power back, empower yourself to feel your own joy.

This may be easier said than done, especially if you have learned and practiced this habit over several years. However, with this new found awareness, as you find yourself judging another person, stop yourself, get quiet, and consider asking yourself the following questions:

  • Who are you ‘hurting’ by passing this judgment?
  • Could there be an aspect of your life that you are judging yourself?
  • How much do you beat yourself up for making a ‘mistake?
  • How much do you praise yourself for your good choices and/or your successes?
  • Where do you choose to focus?

I challenge you for the next 5 days to focus on your successes by journaling about your daily successes by following the steps below:

Step 1: Before journaling, write down how you are feeling between 1 and 10 (1 low; 10 high).

Step 2: Then, list 10 things you are grateful for during that day. As you are writing each gratitude, stop and recall the event, and feel the gratitude. Try not to write the same gratitude as the day before, unless the event occurred in each day.

Step 3: Write 5 personal successes for yourself. Start small if you find you are struggling to write 5. But recognize and feel the success inside your body, notice where in your body you feel each success.

In doing this, if you find that that little voice starting to criticize your gratitudes and or successes by saying something like “Yeah right, that is not a success. You ‘should’ have done this or that”, choose to place these thoughts that are not serving you into a bubble and let them float away. Choose to focus on the gratitude and successes and how they feel, even if it is just for now.

Step 4: Repeat step 1 – write down how you are now feeling between 1 and 10.  Is there any difference from step 1?

I would love to hear from you on how this process impacted you. For everyone that responds through the form below, I will provide you a complementary one on one coaching session, at a time and method that is convenient for us both.

And, if this information resonations with you, and if you haven’t already, consider following my blog by clicking ‘follow’ below and/or by join my FaceBook group.

In closing, I wish you all a fantastic week, with high vibrations. Happy journaling.

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