To say January came in ‘like a lion’ is an understatement – not only with respect to the weather, but for me-work and life too.
This time of year the IT consulting industry is typically beyond busy. Many clients have a fiscal year end of March 31, and the crunch is on to have projects completed by year end. This is not something new to me. I was expecting January/ February/ March to be busy, especially with trying to complete my schooling, on top of a busy work environment. But I did not expect to be this busy.
Being more in tune with my emotions and what they are telling me – I was hearing them loud and clear – I do not like this current situation, and was confused by it. Over the holidays I actually set the intention for this period to be quite manageable – to be fully billable for work, but to also have plenty of time outside of work to focus on school and coaching. So I thought that was what I was asking for, but it is certainly not what has manifested.
Being immersed in the Universal Laws as I have been over the past 9 or so months, I was looking to take responsibility for my current situation, and was asking “How did I create this?” Don’t I need to understand what my ‘ask’ was to understand how my current situation came to be? It seemed logical to me. But for the most part I was not hearing the answer.
After several days, somehow, I ‘heard’ “You are approaching this wrong! Focus on what it is you do want – not on what you do not want!” (Yes, exclamation points and all.) It is one thing to reflect, and learn from it, but when trying to ‘fix’ it, my dominant thoughts were on my current reality (which is what I don’t want) and how to change it. Not on what I do want.
When you focus on the current reality, and even trying to understand ‘how’ you came to be where you are, what is it that you are typically feeling? Lower emotions. But, these lower emotions are a sign of resistance. But wait now – how am I resisting what I do want?!? It is what I thought I was asking for. Not so, apparently. By choosing to focus on my current situation (or what I didn’t want), I was telling the Universe ‘I want more of this’, and was getting it, but really I didn’t want it and my emotions were giving me that very feedback.
So how do I change it? I am told ‘it is as simple as getting clear on what it is I do want and have that as my dominant focus point.’ But also to consider not the ‘how’ I created this, but the ‘why’ – what lesson did I have to learn before I could move toward my desires.
After some introspection, I realized that a belief I had was holding me back or limiting me from reaching my desired situation. A large part of me still believed that sometimes you need to just focus on the work/ task at hand, work hard and push through the busy times to get to the ‘down’ times. For most of my life I have done just that – pushed through the busy times to get things done – and in every area of my life, not just work. So much so, that I did not take the time to enjoy the journey. And what I found was that I would be pushed to such a limit that when there was a ‘slow’ time I didn’t know how to enjoy it. I was either too exhausted to relax and enjoy, or I thought that something had to be wrong for there to be a down time. So I had to ‘fix’ it!
Wow – this belief has not been serving me too well. Now is the time for me to change that and replace it with new belief that serves me – the new me – better.
I have decided to allow myself the time to enjoy the moment, and not just push through. I am giving myself permission to spend a little time every day to dream (a very new concept for me), ask myself what do I want, as well as what new beliefs do I need to have to live the life I want. Although I certainly do not have all the answers, I am now hearing all sorts of ideas – ones that seem fun and enjoyable, and certainly not something to ‘push’ through. This is definitely a better place to mentally!
So what is my next step – taking inspired action! (After I share this insight with you, that is.)